


Here Without You

by Aeon_Wolf



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 3 Doors Down, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Feels, Here Without You, Song Inspired, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:15:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9822134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeon_Wolf/pseuds/Aeon_Wolf
Summary: It wasn’t the loneliness that bothered her. No, the youngest Luthor was used to that. She had lived that for almost her entire life. It was her own self-loathing. She would never regret doing what she did to get her a spot in Cellblock X. What she would regret would be that she never got to tell Kara why.OrLena, for good or ill, gets sentenced to Cellblock X for life. But despite that, Kara still believes in her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Strongly recommend listing to [Here Without You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxWEvV9zYj4), as that is what this was inspired by. The Boyce Avenue cover specifically. Also, Kara and Lena were in a relationship before Lena was imprisoned.

Lena rest her head against the cold wall of her cell, her eyes closed. She could hear the screams and yells of the other members of Cellblock X. She knew that somewhere her brother Lex was sharing the same fate she had been subjected to. Except her sentence was life with possible parole, while his was 32 consecutive life sentences without parole. All in all, she got off much better than the other Luthors. 

And she had one, Kara Danvers to thank for that. Lena found herself smiling at the memories of the bright and bubbly reporter that also had a strong and powerful side, though she knew that underneath, Kara was harboring some darker feelings and thoughts. Lena still recalled Kara’s last words to her.  _ You’re better than this Lena. _

Lena grimaced to herself, letting out a sigh. She wasn’t. Not really. She was a Luthor. It was in her blood. As the youngest of the Luthors, Lionel’s illegitimate daughter, she was bred for this. She did, however, take heart that the monster that was Lillian Luthor was not her blood relative. She didn’t share Lex or Lillian’s anti-alien sentiments, but she shared their cold-hearted ruthlessness. No matter what Kara Danvers thought of her. 

Her thoughts always drifted back to Kara, even after the first hundred days of her stay in Cellblock X. A hundred days since she had last seen Kara. Lena shook her head to herself. Kara was the only person that she had ever come close to truly loving. The only person that had ever believed in her, no matter what. Always on her side. Even as she sat rotting in Cellblock X, she knew Kara was out there, no doubt thinking about her and blaming herself for not being able to save Lena. If Lena could say one thing to the beautiful reporter, she would say that there are just some people that can’t be saved. That it wasn’t her fault. It was no one’s fault but her own. Lena knew that. 

She delved too far into lies and deceit. And when she was finally on the pinnacle of achieving her goals, she found herself nearly throwing it all away for her feelings for Kara. Sometimes, Lena would drift off to sleep and all she would see would be Kara’s face and the life they could have had. If Lena hadn’t betrayed her. But the ex-CEO couldn’t bring herself to truly feel remorse for her actions. She did what she had to. And in the end, she had lost Kara anyways. 

Lena, like her brother, was confined to her cell, only being let out for two hours a day. It gave her a lot of time alone with her lonely mind. Time to think. Reminence. A tiny sliver of regret once in awhile. And Lena hated to sleep. Whenever her eyes closed and her head hit her pillow, all she ever thought and dreamt of was Kara. Her bright blue eyes haunting Lena. 

As the days went by, Lena got more used to her new accommodations. It wasn’t the loneliness that bothered her. No, the youngest Luthor was used to that. She had lived that for almost her entire life. It was her own self-loathing. She would never regret doing what she did to get her a spot in Cellblock X. What she would regret would be that she never got to tell Kara why. Never got to explain. The public had been so ready to rid the world of the last Luthor that she had just been tossed into Cellblock X without another thought. 

Convicted of attempted murder and murder which she deserved, attempted genocide, which was a bunch of bullshit that the jury had bought, assault with a deadly weapon and a whole host of other violent convictions, including a terrorism-related conviction. They would never know or understand that Lena was trying to protect aliens, not harm them. She was trying to destroy Cadmus. And while she had succeeded in destroying the majority of the organization, what was left managed to spin the media and the public against her, branding her as the last Luthor. Even Kara Danvers, otherwise known as Supergirl, couldn’t stop what was coming to her. 

So Lena was confined to Cellblock X, perhaps for the rest of her life. Kara Danvers out there probably wondering where she had gone wrong. Lena looked up as she heard the door to her cell opening. She frowned, she had already been let out for the day. “Luthor, you have a visitor.” Lena frowned further, as far as she was aware, she wasn’t allowed visitors. And who would care about her enough to visit her? Kara was the only one that had believed in her, and after breaking the superhero’s heart so spectacularly before they parted, she was sure Kara would never want to see her again. 

But to her surprise, the red and blue-clad superhero herself stepped into the cell. “Supergirl,” Lena said curtly. “Here to rub my imprisonment in my face?” Lena spat, a little bit bitter. The woman that had been plaguing her dreams, just waltzing into her cell. As if her own imagination wasn’t enough.

“Lena,” Kara said. Lena looked up into Kara’s deep blue eyes. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to come sooner. It took a long time for me to be able to see you.” Kara said, sitting down next to Lena. The raven haired criminal flinched. 

“What are you doing here Kara?” Lena said, a sharp bite to her tone. Kara blinked. 

“I wanted to see you.” 

“But why?” Lena asked again. “If anyone hears that you’ve been visiting a Luthor…” Lena trailed off. 

“I don’t care,” Kara said sadly. “I want to know why.” Lena just shook her head. 

“What does it matter? I deserve to be here Kara.” The superhero reached over to grab Lena’s hand. 

“But you don’t. Not here.” Lena looked up into Kara’s blue eyes. She heart shattered a little bit at the sight of Kara’s sadness. Lena looked away. 

“Kara. Please. Just forget about me. I’m not worth your time. Or your pity.” Lena tried. She didn’t try to save Kara, just for the stubborn Kryptonian to throw everything away on her. She thought her dreams of Kara were bad, but the blonde being here, in her cell, was ten times worse. She’d dream of Kara willingly every night if Kara would leave her be. 

“You are. I believe in you, Lena. You just have to tell me why.” Kara insisted. 

“You’re really missing something here Kara. I’ve been convicted and sentenced to Cellblock X. There’s no getting out for me. You and I both know that.” 

“But…” Kara said, but Lena cut her off. 

“There’s no but, Kara. I did what I had to. Now, please. Go.” Lena tried to push Kara away, but the blonde held her ground, gripping Lena’s hand tighter. 

“Just tell me why.” Lena rolled her eyes. Stubborn Kryptonian. 

“Cadmus was going to deploy another strain of the Medusa virus. I wasn’t going to let them do that. So yes, I did actually detonate a bomb in their headquarters. I murdered a lot of people, Kara.” Lena spat. 

Kara sat in silence. Lena could only imagine what was going through her mind. 

“You… You did what you thought was right at the time.” Kara said. “People died. But you were right. You can’t save everyone. You killed some to save more. You destroyed Cadmus to save aliens.” Lena just scoffed. 

“A lot of good that did me. Cadmus still managed to have the last laugh. Lock up the last of the Luthors.” Lena snorted. “The public will believe what they want to about my family, Kara. It doesn’t matter that I was trying to do the opposite of what my brother did. They’ll always believe the narrative that Luthors are evil. I don’t get a second chance.” Lena felt Kara wrap and arm around her shoulder.

“It’s not fair,” Kara whispered. 

“Life isn’t fair Kara, you should know that by now. Please, just go. You got your answer. Just leave me be.” Lena tried to push Kara again. Even though all she wanted to do was throw her arms around Kara, kiss her lips and cry into her shoulder. But she wouldn’t let herself do that. 

Lena felt a pair of lips against her cheek before Kara unwrapped her arm from around Lena. “I’m not giving up on you Lena. I still believe in you. I still love you.” Kara whispered out the last part before stepping out of Lena’s cell. 

The youngest of the Luthors finally allowed herself to let out a sob. She pulled her knees close to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs, resting her head on the top of her knees. As she drifted off to sleep, the same pair of blue eyes invaded her dreams. 

Stubborn Kryptonian. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know where this came from. Or even if it's any good. I'm not a huge fan of how this turned out but decided to post it anyways. Anyways, as I said, inspired by _Here Without You_ by 3 Doors Down. Boyce Avenue cover. After 2x12 and all the "OMG Lena is going to be evil" stuff, I wanted to write how I wish that would go, if it has to go that way. 
> 
> I'm a huge fan of morally gray Lena, rather than evil Lena. I think it fits both her character and the storyline much better. But what Lillian said about people wanting to believe that Luthors are evil definitely played a role here. Lena did murder a bunch of people (granted, they were Cadmus members) but because the public needed a scapegoat and they are already distrustful of the Luthors, no one except Kara would give her the benefit of the doubt. 
> 
> Anyways yeah. I don't really like this personally, but I figured I'd post it anyways since I spent time on it.


End file.
